Each smile, look and comment takes its toll on my heart and a small string is tugged at each time. This new foreign feeling is one I'd rather not keep but I'm also desperate for. This mere neediness and desperation for his love and attention is both pointless and exhausting for us both. I don't doubt I drive him mad as he further denies this irritation by me. But as selfish as it may seem I have the inability to let him go. We aren't falling apart or splitting for that matter but we have become what some may describe as a married couple. I get where they're coming from, we could go for days and have very little communication and we would still be inseparable, but lately I have changed. Not by choice or wanting too but I now feel drawn to him. His every story and idea, each laugh and smile, both serious and silly comment he makes drives me to something I've never felt in such a time and have only really heard of in the books read to children about their lovers falling for them after meeting once. I can't understand love, maybe it's in need of a better meaning or is too powerful to explain but it's the one word that still holds me in its clutches. This force feeding of feelings I have yet to open up about to him, or anyone. I'm not going to lie that something's changed with me. I feel more open and able to talk about things that once made my stomach churn. Now it's just a slight blush and side glance. Embarrassment, as I too now have acquired a sort of drive for something I had never spared a thought to before. He was so much different than Him and yet I still get the sinking feeling of similarities between the two.
